xenologer: (cocky Kamina)
Tumblr brought me a thing. I am not bitchy enough to actually use this as a signature on RPG-Directory, but I thought about it and smiled.



As far as roleplaying settings are concerned, The Mysterious Orient is populated entirely by samurai and ninja. All women are courtesan-assassins and all men are blushing stammering uke.

There might be an option for player characters from the Generic Dark People Country, but nobody will play one because it might require learning to tell POC apart well enough to select a PB.

You might see an Arab character now and again, but they will all be played by Italians.
xenologer: (ooh!)
PSA: Your Default Narrative Settings Are Not Apolitical

Which leads me back to the issue of prejudice: specifically, to the claim that including such characters in SFF stories, by dint of contradicting the model of straight, white, male homogeneity laid down by Tolkien and taken as gospel ever since, is an inherently political – and therefore suspect – act. To which I say: what on Earth makes you think that the classic SWM default is apolitical? If it can reasonably argued that a character’s gender, race and sexual orientation have political implications, then why should that verdict only apply to characters who differ from both yourself and your expectations? Isn’t the assertion that straight white men are narratively neutral itself a political statement, one which seeks to marginalise as exceptional or abnormal the experiences of every other possible type of person on the planet despite the fact that straight white men are themselves a global minority? And even if a particular character was deliberately written to make a political point, why should that threaten you? Why should it matter that people with different beliefs and backgrounds are using fiction to write inspirational wish-fulfillment characters for themselves, but from whose struggle and empowerment you feel personally estranged? That’s not bad writing, and as we’ve established by now, it’s certainly not bad history – and particularly not when you remember (as so many people seem to forget) that fictional cultures are under no obligation whatsoever to conform to historical mores. It just means that someone has managed to write a successful story that doesn’t consider you to be its primary audience – and if the prospect of not being wholly, overwhelmingly catered to is something you find disturbing, threatening, wrong? Then yeah: I’m going to call you a bigot, and I probably won’t be wrong.


I want to enter into a committed long-term relationship with this article.

This is one reason I have a hard time finding fantasy settings that I really click with. Too many writers, worldbuilders, and roleplayers either A: don't want "politics" (read: minorities) in their pretendy funtime games, or B: really think that the only people who've ever led narratively interesting lives were straight white cisgender people, and that for the sake of realism they can have wizards and fairies but cannot have more than a couple token POC in their setting.

I console myself by reminding myself that if that's the level of thought they put into their writing and worldbuilding, they're probably pretty mediocre at both. Odds are I'm not missing much.

It's also worth adding that Tolkien didn't want to create the enormously racially-screwy and gender-backward narrative that he did with Lord of the Rings. When it was pointed out to him (by which I mean, sometime around when the Nazis wrote to him and said, "Dude we love you!"), he went, "Oh no, look what I did," and decided to use his future writings to undermine that a great deal and do better. Sadly, he died before he got to finish that, but the Silmarillion helps and he evidently had more improvement plans in his notes.

So I am kinda both saying I want worldbuilders to be less like Tolkien in how they worldbuild, and more like Tolkien in how they respond to criticism about their worldbuilding. Not all stories have to be about magical straight white people. Frankly, there are only so many stories to be told in identically-"medieval" whitewashed patriarchal fantasy settings.
xenologer: (objection!)
Pteryxx on the AtheismPlus board provides my quote of the day on people who walk into big kid discussions with Privilege101 questions that they demand be addressed RIGHT NOW no matter the opportunity cost.

The post itself lives here.

I assume you haven't yet discovered this, but newcomers who SAY they're here in good faith but persistently ask "why are there still monkeys" level questions? Generally are not here in good faith. In my experience (going on two years now) they're greater than 95% trolls. In the first year past Elevatorgate, on Pharyngula, the regulars dealt with *hundreds* of these good-faith trolls and I only saw six that ever said "I see what you mean now / I didn't know that, and I'll reconsider." SIX. Maybe one every two months. (On A+ so far? I've seen four. The ratio's still roughly 20:1.)

This "potential allies" argument elides the cost TO THE EDUCATORS and the silencing effect on the community. Innocent-looking questioning is a tactic used to derail productive conversation, sap the educators' time, resources, and trust while forcing them to constantly defend their own validity and personhood, and to obscure the few truly honest questioners. It is NOT productive to suggest that more and more effort and good faith should be expended across the board for a tiny gain in capture among supposed Goldilocks allies. The vast majority of newcomers who show themselves to be willing to learn, do so by their own actions with hardly any extra expenditure of effort from the regulars.

The primary purpose of this space is to foster *advanced* discussion, not to provide volunteer remedial education to the general public. 101-level education is a side effect and should not be allowed to detract from discussion beyond the core concepts. Heck, there are discussions I'd LOVE to have about sexuality, rape culture and navigating consent that can't possibly happen because of floods of Just Askers misrepresenting the extremely basic concept of Schroedinger's Rapist. Arguing over the fundamentals can and does happen in every other place on the Internet. It serves no purpose HERE.

I should think this phenomenon of flooding the field with basic misapprehensions long since addressed would be familiar to anyone fighting woo or creationism. Maybe other skeptics see their core purpose as debunking the same myths over and over and over again, but here we have better things to do.


This is why I feel so good about this place. I can read threads and not feel like I have to post, because there are lots and lots of people who already have this shit under control. For once there is a corner of the internet where I can read some person's arseness without any pressure, because there are so many people available to deal intelligently with arseness that the pressure on each of us to do so is minimized.

Also so far the mods have demonstrated themselves to be trustworthy, which is not an evaluation I make lightly.

Overall it has been a good place for me to find, and even though I don't post a whole lot... it's a relief not to feel like I need to.
xenologer: (happy!)
I am not currently playing with the vast majority of you, therefore I come bearing mutants and magic and MAD SCIENCE!

Metro City is here for excellently tongue-in-cheek superhero shenanigans for all your modern kitchen-sink supernatural roleplaying needs. We care about having comedy with our drama and diversity among our characters. I know that for me, a lot of boards can get so bogged down in being gritty and dark that the impact is lost because there's no dynamic contrast. If there's a little comedy (or a lot) thrown in, those dramatic notes stand out a lot more and it's easier to appreciate them, in my opinion. I know that I've learned a lot about comedic writing from being on this board.

Part of the comedy around Metro City is that we like to lampshade comic tropes. We actually factor in "trope coverage" to some plot decisions, because if we're going to be a superhero setting well naturally we'll eventually need to have twins who both have complimentary powers (check) and a teen hero team (teen swarm check) and a villain/hero romance (check) and Obligatory Clone Plot and Obligatory Alien Plot (check) and Obligatory Power Loss Plot (we have not done all of these yet but we keep them in mind as options because we respect our heritage).

We're writing in a comic book style setting, which means occasionally that we have to poke fun at our roots a little, just to make it clear that we know when they deserve it. We also try to improve on our roots by having characters of all races, genders, orientations, and ages, which is not something the big comic publishers have historically been terribly great at.

Now here is the Obligatory Ad Posting.



Daring, virtuous heroes.

Despicable, vile villains.

Dark, unknowable renegades.

Which one are YOU?

Three hundred years ago, Metro City was built around an ancient meteor impact site that emitted a strange radiation signature. Only within the last few decades was it discovered that this energy was tied to the emergence of superpowers in the world. Nowadays, heroes, villains, and renegades battle it out for control of the city's fate.

Metro City is eager for new storytellers. Come on down and see what we're about!

Details about the game are found here. Contact an admin here.
xenologer: (YAY)
I am so happy right now. One of my characters has become the Mary Sue of another character within the same setting. It's beautiful.

Okay, for context. Metro City now has a character who is a high school student writing Real Person Fic about the city's superheroes. It's just the worst slashfic ever, with the pairings optimized OOC to provide maximum horror and trauma to the characters themselves when they inevitably find this, and my character is the one that this girl has decided is going to be her self-insert Mary Sue, so she is pairing her with the hero she has a teen obsessioncrush on.

Hence: My character is the Mary Sue of another character within the setting.

BWARRRRRRM

Also, holy shit does it feel fantastic to not have to be the admin of everything for once. I am trying to learn that I do not have to mastermind everything in order for social situations to work or community building to happen. People can talk to each other without me acting as a coach and interpreter, no matter what they seem to think. I am enjoying my vacation from fixing everything for everybody, and y'know what? They're not relying on me for it any more! How splendid!

Anyway, writing is yay. I am thrilled to be writing with so many people who have things to teach me about comedic writing. I end up sort of being a big fish in a small pond, and while it's nice to be appreciated... I stagnate when I'm the popular kid. With the last board I was writing on, people sort of fell all over me and were amazed that I can write dialogue worth half a damn. Guys, I'm coherent, but I'm not a hero. It's nice to not be expected to be one, because I'm not at the top of the heap anymore.

Thank goodness.
xenologer: (everybody's aunt)
I've been on a lot of RP forums, and I'm sort of tired of something in particular that I want to rant about for a quick minute. Generally I actually like being staff because it gives me an excuse to really contribute to getting the posting pace moving quickly and doing the fun community building stuff. Ordinarily this is super rewarding and I love it, but obviously with any project there are going to be people who slow the project down while bitching that it isn't moving fast enough to suit them.

I dislike this. )
xenologer: (human monsters)
I have a board that I enjoy a great deal, and wanted to plug it here just in case there are any play-by-post people around. I will preface this by saying that shifter boards are not normally for me, after being repeatedly smacked in the face with the White Wolf-style hammer that says, "NOBODY IS INTERESTING OR WORTH PLAYING UNLESS THEY ARE INFECTED BY A MAGICAL SPACE VIRUS THAT CAUSES THEM TO BECOME A MANATEE AT HIGH TIDE," and that's just dumb. So. Understand that when I recommend this place, I am not recommending that.

If you want to find me or my characters on this board, I'm known as Cobalt over there (which, if you know me, you probably would have spotted anyway). Feel free to hit me up with questions here if you've got them, or use the CBox on the board itself.


POST-APOCALYPSE.
WITH WEREWOLVES.
JOIN.

...Yeah.

Werewolves, and shape-shifters in general? They've been around. A long time. Since the beginning. Sometimes they had their time of power in the world. Nowadays, they mostly don't.

Four years ago, a disease ravaged the world. Who would have thought that the werewolves, of all people, would be immune to a variation of rabies. Now most people are just trying to stay alive.

A community-run game, with open opportunities for creating your own packs, areas and aspects of the game. Friendly, dedicated admins and active members, and a wiki for expanding upon any details you feel like!
details about the game and joining can be found here
info about the admins can be found here




Anyway, thanks, I'm done now!

Thalians!

May. 15th, 2010 09:18 pm
xenologer: (ravenclaws)
Our email list is kind of wacky right now, so I'm posting this on LJ just to make sure people get the note.

We discussed at the IC that we're not really doing the big expansion thing right now, but we do have names from PPD of people who were interested. Having someplace to link to those with an email on our list is awesome, because it means we can put ourselves out there to exactly the degree we're comfortable. Means people can get to know us, without us having to disclose anything important until we're sure they aren't a psycho.

The board I created is at http://thaliaclan.yuku.com/, and if you want to post there, you can log in with all manner of things. I believe you can even 'port your login over from Facebook, but that is probably needlessly complicated and I've never cared enough to figure out how. Easiest way to get yourself started is to go to http://www.yuku.com/ and make a profile/account/login. It's a big board network, so if something you really want to be called is taken for whatever reason, I can make things happen so that you can have the screenname you want.

Once you have an account and post, you'll be given access to a private section of the board that only Thalians will be given access to. That'll give us our little private sandbox just in case somebody actually is a psycho, while leaving a board open for people to hang out and whatever.

Anyway. Lemme know if there are problems.

Thalians!

May. 15th, 2010 09:18 pm
xenologer: (ravenclaws)
Our email list is kind of wacky right now, so I'm posting this on LJ just to make sure people get the note.

We discussed at the IC that we're not really doing the big expansion thing right now, but we do have names from PPD of people who were interested. Having someplace to link to those with an email on our list is awesome, because it means we can put ourselves out there to exactly the degree we're comfortable. Means people can get to know us, without us having to disclose anything important until we're sure they aren't a psycho.

The board I created is at http://thaliaclan.yuku.com/, and if you want to post there, you can log in with all manner of things. I believe you can even 'port your login over from Facebook, but that is probably needlessly complicated and I've never cared enough to figure out how. Easiest way to get yourself started is to go to http://www.yuku.com/ and make a profile/account/login. It's a big board network, so if something you really want to be called is taken for whatever reason, I can make things happen so that you can have the screenname you want.

Once you have an account and post, you'll be given access to a private section of the board that only Thalians will be given access to. That'll give us our little private sandbox just in case somebody actually is a psycho, while leaving a board open for people to hang out and whatever.

Anyway. Lemme know if there are problems.

Thalians!

May. 15th, 2010 09:18 pm
xenologer: (ravenclaws)
Our email list is kind of wacky right now, so I'm posting this on LJ just to make sure people get the note.

We discussed at the IC that we're not really doing the big expansion thing right now, but we do have names from PPD of people who were interested. Having someplace to link to those with an email on our list is awesome, because it means we can put ourselves out there to exactly the degree we're comfortable. Means people can get to know us, without us having to disclose anything important until we're sure they aren't a psycho.

The board I created is at http://thaliaclan.yuku.com/, and if you want to post there, you can log in with all manner of things. I believe you can even 'port your login over from Facebook, but that is probably needlessly complicated and I've never cared enough to figure out how. Easiest way to get yourself started is to go to http://www.yuku.com/ and make a profile/account/login. It's a big board network, so if something you really want to be called is taken for whatever reason, I can make things happen so that you can have the screenname you want.

Once you have an account and post, you'll be given access to a private section of the board that only Thalians will be given access to. That'll give us our little private sandbox just in case somebody actually is a psycho, while leaving a board open for people to hang out and whatever.

Anyway. Lemme know if there are problems.
xenologer: (bye bye)
[livejournal.com profile] poshspice is right.

Haters gonna hate. *waves off*
xenologer: (bye bye)
A lot of GMs say they "don't like to push their players." They don't like to guide or railroad or otherwise drag the players and their characters from one plot hook to another. Instead, they say they're running a "character-centric" game.

In my experience here is what they're really trying to say. "I have a plot in mind, but I don't know too much about pacing, so I figure I'll let you guys ramble about and do whatever. If you do something interesting enough to warrant a reaction or some gamemastering, I suppose I'll get involved. I'm not sure what I'll do if none of you have a plot in mind and a way to make it happen. Probably be upset with you."

This is why, while character development is really important to me to be able to have fun RPing, I don't like "character-centric" RPs. In my experience that's not what it means. It means that the GM wants more than a table of pro-active RPers. They want a table of people who'll take over plot and pacing, an interesting choice considering that the GM is usually the only one who really knows the plot.

Now why in the world would you put the responsibility for pacing on people who don't know what's going on? It's a recipe for people to stand around talking in-character, killing time and hoping that the GM will notice them waiting.

Players throwing a creative wrench into the plot by acting in-character and doing unexpected things are gems, and they help create much richer plots than the GM could create by him or herself. But a GM has to have a backup plan, a plot in mind and something interesting to offer in case they have to be the engine of plot and pacing. Because guess what? That's part of your job, gamemasters and storytellers. The buck stops at you.
xenologer: (bye bye)
A lot of GMs say they "don't like to push their players." They don't like to guide or railroad or otherwise drag the players and their characters from one plot hook to another. Instead, they say they're running a "character-centric" game.

In my experience here is what they're really trying to say. "I have a plot in mind, but I don't know too much about pacing, so I figure I'll let you guys ramble about and do whatever. If you do something interesting enough to warrant a reaction or some gamemastering, I suppose I'll get involved. I'm not sure what I'll do if none of you have a plot in mind and a way to make it happen. Probably be upset with you."

This is why, while character development is really important to me to be able to have fun RPing, I don't like "character-centric" RPs. In my experience that's not what it means. It means that the GM wants more than a table of pro-active RPers. They want a table of people who'll take over plot and pacing, an interesting choice considering that the GM is usually the only one who really knows the plot.

Now why in the world would you put the responsibility for pacing on people who don't know what's going on? It's a recipe for people to stand around talking in-character, killing time and hoping that the GM will notice them waiting.

Players throwing a creative wrench into the plot by acting in-character and doing unexpected things are gems, and they help create much richer plots than the GM could create by him or herself. But a GM has to have a backup plan, a plot in mind and something interesting to offer in case they have to be the engine of plot and pacing. Because guess what? That's part of your job, gamemasters and storytellers. The buck stops at you.
xenologer: (bye bye)
A lot of GMs say they "don't like to push their players." They don't like to guide or railroad or otherwise drag the players and their characters from one plot hook to another. Instead, they say they're running a "character-centric" game.

In my experience here is what they're really trying to say. "I have a plot in mind, but I don't know too much about pacing, so I figure I'll let you guys ramble about and do whatever. If you do something interesting enough to warrant a reaction or some gamemastering, I suppose I'll get involved. I'm not sure what I'll do if none of you have a plot in mind and a way to make it happen. Probably be upset with you."

This is why, while character development is really important to me to be able to have fun RPing, I don't like "character-centric" RPs. In my experience that's not what it means. It means that the GM wants more than a table of pro-active RPers. They want a table of people who'll take over plot and pacing, an interesting choice considering that the GM is usually the only one who really knows the plot.

Now why in the world would you put the responsibility for pacing on people who don't know what's going on? It's a recipe for people to stand around talking in-character, killing time and hoping that the GM will notice them waiting.

Players throwing a creative wrench into the plot by acting in-character and doing unexpected things are gems, and they help create much richer plots than the GM could create by him or herself. But a GM has to have a backup plan, a plot in mind and something interesting to offer in case they have to be the engine of plot and pacing. Because guess what? That's part of your job, gamemasters and storytellers. The buck stops at you.
xenologer: (smash patriarchy)
Call me crazy, but "forced feminization" roleplaying boards like The D+X Institute strike me as super duper transphobic. I mean, sure, they're effectively fantasizing about being trans. But I don't think that's quite the same as respecting trans people as actual human beings the way cis people are "actual" human beings.

Overall, I'm not totally comfortable with the way transgendered people and gender dysphoria tends to get hypersexualized. The whole "it's all about chicks with dicks and how naughty and forbidden that is," because it wouldn't be naughty or forbidden if--deep down--people weren't still really attached to the transphobic idea that all of this is deliciously threatening. If trans people were just normal people, there would be nothing racy or titillating about becoming one.

There's also the fact that "forced feminization" seems to carry the same overtones as rape fantasies. "I want this, but I'm not allowed to want it because it's naughty and bad. Therefore I think it'd be swell if the choice wasn't mine and I wasn't accountable for it." Lots of women enjoy a good rape fantasy without actually having the conscious opinion that sex is bad, just as I'm sure lots of people on this board get off on forced feminization without having the conscious opinion that trans people are bad. More likely they're actually congratulating themselves on how cosmopolitan they are for creating a scenario where "but for the grace of God," go they themselves.

But y'know... just as there are implications that rape fantasies are reflective of anti-sex pressures on the people who have them (even if the people who have them wouldn't classify themselves as anti-sex), I get a real vibe that this whole thing is reflective of anti-trans pressures on the people playing there.

Maybe I'm prattling on about something totally obvious, but I'm trying to articulate this in a sensible way and I don't know if I'm succeeding.

I understand that the people on this board are--more likely than not--here to get their rocks off and not to explore the sociocultural implications of how the media (including erotica) portrays trans people. The hypersexualization is, whenever it happens, quite dehumanizing in the end.

Considering how rough trans people have it even now... I think they've been dehumanized enough. So this board bothers me.

But again. Fantasy is fantasy. People can fantasize about non-consensual sex without thinking it's right. I'm just not sure people can fantasize about being forced into a trans lifestyle without recycling a lot of old transphobic tropes. I think I'd be too worried about the cultural forces I was strengthening to truly enjoy a board like d-and-x.org.

That's the only drawback to being a progressive social scientist. Certain things become less fun once I start considering who is or might be harmed by them. Because, whatever people may say about me behind my back, I don't actually like people being hurt. The fact that I'd even have to sit and think about whether this is feeding into something nasty kills any potential fun... even if I were to decide in the end that I'm overreacting and being paranoid and nobody cares but me.

How do people feel about this? Trans issues get neglected a lot, and I don't want to do that to them. I don't want to miss a huge chunk of the injustices people perpetrate on each other, but I must admit that I'm not very good at considering these issues (or at least, I don't feel like I'm on steady footing here). Feedback?
xenologer: (racism over)
Odd dilemma. I'm trying to convince some guy on a forum that it's not cool to blame POC when they get--disproportionately, to a white person--angry about being marginalized. Saying, "I would have more sympathy if the guy weren't so angry/hostile/etc." has never really done wonders for civilized discourse.

My problem is that I want to vent about this, and the most socially-conscious people I know (the people who will intuitively know what I'm getting at without me having to explain all over again why victim-blaming is shitty) are POC. And, quite frankly, I don't want them to feel like they have to deal with this guy. A couple of them stepped in on their own to say, "wtf no," but the last thing I want them to feel I'm doing to them is saying "HEY COME HELP ME FIGHT RACISM! *bounce bounce* =D IT'LL BE FUN AND THEN YOU CAN GIVE ME A COOKIE AND I'LL BE ONE OF THE GOOD WHITE PEOPLE." This is a stupid thing to do.

So I'm ranting here. What the fuck, humanity. The fact that it still needs to be explained that, "No, you shouldn't punish a child of color for punching a kid who threw racist insults at him and who hit him first," in any social setting at all... it's just sad. When a relatively-privileged white girl can look at what you're saying and tell you, "Please stop placing further barriers to POC defending the legitimacy of their personhood," then you know it's glaringly obvious.

I'm not an expert at this shit. Quite frankly, as a white person, I think the best that I can do is say that the experience of being that marginalized is so huge and so comprehensively awful that I'm just not gonna get it. And as a result, the fact that I or this other guy or whoever else wouldn't have been upset enough to give a violent racist who attacked him a bloody nose? Doesn't mean shit. We don't know enough to be upset to a realistic degree. The best we can do is know we don't know, and try to have a little fucking empathy if we can.

Again. If a white person is calling you out on the implications of what you're saying, you've probably already gone so far over the line that people who've experienced real discrimination noticed loooong ago, and long ago wrote you off entirely as beyond redemption--at least redemption by them.

I don't want a cookie. Not wanting victims to be shit on for defending themselves doesn't make me awesome. It means I have half a damn conscience. I want people to stop failing so hard that it takes a member of the privileged race to tell them they're out of line. But that's not going to happen. So now I want a nap and a vacation from other people.

What pisses me off most, I think, is knowing that I can walk away from this whenever I want because I'm white. I can choose not to engage in this, and whether I'll even pay attention to it is completely optional. So I don't feel like I deserve to walk away just because I'm tired of it and getting angrier than I want to be right now. What gives me the right?
xenologer: (racism over)
Odd dilemma. I'm trying to convince some guy on a forum that it's not cool to blame POC when they get--disproportionately, to a white person--angry about being marginalized. Saying, "I would have more sympathy if the guy weren't so angry/hostile/etc." has never really done wonders for civilized discourse.

My problem is that I want to vent about this, and the most socially-conscious people I know (the people who will intuitively know what I'm getting at without me having to explain all over again why victim-blaming is shitty) are POC. And, quite frankly, I don't want them to feel like they have to deal with this guy. A couple of them stepped in on their own to say, "wtf no," but the last thing I want them to feel I'm doing to them is saying "HEY COME HELP ME FIGHT RACISM! *bounce bounce* =D IT'LL BE FUN AND THEN YOU CAN GIVE ME A COOKIE AND I'LL BE ONE OF THE GOOD WHITE PEOPLE." This is a stupid thing to do.

So I'm ranting here. What the fuck, humanity. The fact that it still needs to be explained that, "No, you shouldn't punish a child of color for punching a kid who threw racist insults at him and who hit him first," in any social setting at all... it's just sad. When a relatively-privileged white girl can look at what you're saying and tell you, "Please stop placing further barriers to POC defending the legitimacy of their personhood," then you know it's glaringly obvious.

I'm not an expert at this shit. Quite frankly, as a white person, I think the best that I can do is say that the experience of being that marginalized is so huge and so comprehensively awful that I'm just not gonna get it. And as a result, the fact that I or this other guy or whoever else wouldn't have been upset enough to give a violent racist who attacked him a bloody nose? Doesn't mean shit. We don't know enough to be upset to a realistic degree. The best we can do is know we don't know, and try to have a little fucking empathy if we can.

Again. If a white person is calling you out on the implications of what you're saying, you've probably already gone so far over the line that people who've experienced real discrimination noticed loooong ago, and long ago wrote you off entirely as beyond redemption--at least redemption by them.

I don't want a cookie. Not wanting victims to be shit on for defending themselves doesn't make me awesome. It means I have half a damn conscience. I want people to stop failing so hard that it takes a member of the privileged race to tell them they're out of line. But that's not going to happen. So now I want a nap and a vacation from other people.

What pisses me off most, I think, is knowing that I can walk away from this whenever I want because I'm white. I can choose not to engage in this, and whether I'll even pay attention to it is completely optional. So I don't feel like I deserve to walk away just because I'm tired of it and getting angrier than I want to be right now. What gives me the right?
xenologer: (racism over)
Odd dilemma. I'm trying to convince some guy on a forum that it's not cool to blame POC when they get--disproportionately, to a white person--angry about being marginalized. Saying, "I would have more sympathy if the guy weren't so angry/hostile/etc." has never really done wonders for civilized discourse.

My problem is that I want to vent about this, and the most socially-conscious people I know (the people who will intuitively know what I'm getting at without me having to explain all over again why victim-blaming is shitty) are POC. And, quite frankly, I don't want them to feel like they have to deal with this guy. A couple of them stepped in on their own to say, "wtf no," but the last thing I want them to feel I'm doing to them is saying "HEY COME HELP ME FIGHT RACISM! *bounce bounce* =D IT'LL BE FUN AND THEN YOU CAN GIVE ME A COOKIE AND I'LL BE ONE OF THE GOOD WHITE PEOPLE." This is a stupid thing to do.

So I'm ranting here. What the fuck, humanity. The fact that it still needs to be explained that, "No, you shouldn't punish a child of color for punching a kid who threw racist insults at him and who hit him first," in any social setting at all... it's just sad. When a relatively-privileged white girl can look at what you're saying and tell you, "Please stop placing further barriers to POC defending the legitimacy of their personhood," then you know it's glaringly obvious.

I'm not an expert at this shit. Quite frankly, as a white person, I think the best that I can do is say that the experience of being that marginalized is so huge and so comprehensively awful that I'm just not gonna get it. And as a result, the fact that I or this other guy or whoever else wouldn't have been upset enough to give a violent racist who attacked him a bloody nose? Doesn't mean shit. We don't know enough to be upset to a realistic degree. The best we can do is know we don't know, and try to have a little fucking empathy if we can.

Again. If a white person is calling you out on the implications of what you're saying, you've probably already gone so far over the line that people who've experienced real discrimination noticed loooong ago, and long ago wrote you off entirely as beyond redemption--at least redemption by them.

I don't want a cookie. Not wanting victims to be shit on for defending themselves doesn't make me awesome. It means I have half a damn conscience. I want people to stop failing so hard that it takes a member of the privileged race to tell them they're out of line. But that's not going to happen. So now I want a nap and a vacation from other people.

What pisses me off most, I think, is knowing that I can walk away from this whenever I want because I'm white. I can choose not to engage in this, and whether I'll even pay attention to it is completely optional. So I don't feel like I deserve to walk away just because I'm tired of it and getting angrier than I want to be right now. What gives me the right?

April 2016

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