Seems to me, "manipulative" is one of those characteristics like "thrifty" or "selfish", that covers a broad continuum of behavior. A certain amount of it is praiseworthy and necessary for functioning, and it can also be taken to an unhealthy degree.
If there's something you want, how do you get it? Arguing that you have a right to it is manipulative. Offering to trade something for it is manipulative. Appeal to reason, or to emotion, or to ridicule, or any kind of discussion or persuasion, is manipulative. Doesn't make it bad. In fact, most would agree it's a better alternative than taking by force or stealth.
At its worst, manipulation involves fraud, coercion, illogic, hiding the truth, throwing tantrums, threatening suicide, hypnotism, you get the idea. That doesn't seem like it fits you. Seems to me that truth is your weapon of choice and that you're among the most likely people I know to clearly explain what you want, what you're doing to get it, and why. While that is arguably a form of "manipulation", seems to me that's the good kind, the best alternative in a game you pretty much are required to play in order to get by. Harmful manipulators either actively try to fool people into thinking that they're doing something else, or have bullshitted themselves into thinking they're not manipulative.
Seems to me, a lot of people who accuse others of being manipulative may be hiding from the realization that the right thing to do is outside their comfort zone, and don't like it, and are really arguing with their own conscience as much as with the person they're accusing.
no subject
If there's something you want, how do you get it? Arguing that you have a right to it is manipulative. Offering to trade something for it is manipulative. Appeal to reason, or to emotion, or to ridicule, or any kind of discussion or persuasion, is manipulative. Doesn't make it bad. In fact, most would agree it's a better alternative than taking by force or stealth.
At its worst, manipulation involves fraud, coercion, illogic, hiding the truth, throwing tantrums, threatening suicide, hypnotism, you get the idea. That doesn't seem like it fits you. Seems to me that truth is your weapon of choice and that you're among the most likely people I know to clearly explain what you want, what you're doing to get it, and why. While that is arguably a form of "manipulation", seems to me that's the good kind, the best alternative in a game you pretty much are required to play in order to get by. Harmful manipulators either actively try to fool people into thinking that they're doing something else, or have bullshitted themselves into thinking they're not manipulative.
Seems to me, a lot of people who accuse others of being manipulative may be hiding from the realization that the right thing to do is outside their comfort zone, and don't like it, and are really arguing with their own conscience as much as with the person they're accusing.
PS: This is about him again, isn't it?