xenologer: (bye bye)
xenologer ([personal profile] xenologer) wrote2010-05-15 01:22 pm

Writer's Block: Solo traveler

[Error: unknown template qotd]

I'm actually very open by now. In my head, out my mouth. I spent so long hiding and manipulating and skirting the truth without actually lying but in the end just acting all the time so that I could get by on a day to day basis. So I don't do it now.

A lot of people think I'm emotionally guarded, though, because I guard my emotions. I'm open, but not in the sense that I wear my heart on my sleeve and let just anybody stick around and keep hurting me. I cut people off pretty readily if they're fucking up, and I'm okay with that. Doesn't mean I don't open up to people; it means I shut them out if they screw up and I never look back. They can come back when they learn to act right.

Getting rid of the idiots and jerks is how I keep my life a safe space for me to be open. If someone around me makes me feel like I have to start sneaking and hiding and playing games to feel safe? They go away. Because I'm not going to live like that again.