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Writer's Block: Forgive and forget?
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I forgive people when they can no longer hurt me, either because it's no longer in their nature or because they have been forcibly removed from my life. Then I'm cool with them, either way.
However, I never forget. I've said it before and I'll say it again. People who pressure you to "forgive and forget" are just hoping for another opportunity to hurt you, or at the very least they don't value your right to prevent it. Anybody who really respects your right to protect yourself will never ask you to pretend an injury didn't happen (such as how you've been hurt in the past and by whom) for the benefit of their feelings. In that situation what they're really asking you to do is to make yourself more likely to be hurt similarly in the future so that they don't have to hurt now.
And... uh... no.
I forgive people when they can no longer hurt me, either because it's no longer in their nature or because they have been forcibly removed from my life. Then I'm cool with them, either way.
However, I never forget. I've said it before and I'll say it again. People who pressure you to "forgive and forget" are just hoping for another opportunity to hurt you, or at the very least they don't value your right to prevent it. Anybody who really respects your right to protect yourself will never ask you to pretend an injury didn't happen (such as how you've been hurt in the past and by whom) for the benefit of their feelings. In that situation what they're really asking you to do is to make yourself more likely to be hurt similarly in the future so that they don't have to hurt now.
And... uh... no.
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A friendship I had for ten years ended because the fellow I was friends with abruptly decided he wanted to sleep with me and ran off and pouted when I said "No."
About a year later, he made furtive, pitiful efforts to rekindle the friendship. I attempted to have a discussion about his egregious behavior from before; he said I was "living in the past." I responded by stating he should never contact me again.
Anyone who asks you to forgive and forget likely just wants an "in" to hurting your feelings again...and they want to feel justified in doing so because if you bring up your previously hurt feelings, they can say "I thought you said you'd forget about that."
So yeah...strong feelings about this.