Late Night Activity and Vagrant Recaps

It's quite late. Past three in the morning it is. There's either an animal or person outside my house, so in lieu of going to bed, I'm sitting on my couch with a wakizashi.

First it fucked with the trash can, and I heard it half an hour ago and again as I typed this sentence. Then it was in front of the bay window around the garden, and I thought I heard animal tags or something. Then I swear I heard the mailbox on our house.

The cat was staring fixedly out the window for about half an hour. She just now left it. She's not a sit-still-and-stare cat unless she sees something.

This isn't helping my home invasion phobia, let me tell you what. Especially since our land line is in the process of being reconnected. This makes for a panicky Ashley. Panicky Ashley wants weapon and alarm system on kthx. Tempted to wake Brian up to get him to turn the alarm on, but he has to be at work in about four hours.

Seriously. It'll be light in about three hours. If I go to sleep now, I'll have nightmares. I don't think I will be able to get to sleep, though. Not with the phobia triggers bouncing all around inside my head.

I'd feel better if there wasn't a great bloody bay window on the ground floor right behind me, but I'd feel worse if I were all the way upstairs trying to fall asleep.

I've always had problems with home invasion. The idea that I'm not safe anywhere, that even my own territory isn't really mine because anyone can invade it and violate that space at any time... it's something I've always had a problem with. It got worse after the thing with that guy living in my parents' garage. I actually ended up talking about it tonight with a friend.

( BACKGROUND GO )

Now you know about my crazy home invasion phobia, and why I've had trouble getting rid of it.

Late Night Activity and Vagrant Recaps

It's quite late. Past three in the morning it is. There's either an animal or person outside my house, so in lieu of going to bed, I'm sitting on my couch with a wakizashi.

First it fucked with the trash can, and I heard it half an hour ago and again as I typed this sentence. Then it was in front of the bay window around the garden, and I thought I heard animal tags or something. Then I swear I heard the mailbox on our house.

The cat was staring fixedly out the window for about half an hour. She just now left it. She's not a sit-still-and-stare cat unless she sees something.

This isn't helping my home invasion phobia, let me tell you what. Especially since our land line is in the process of being reconnected. This makes for a panicky Ashley. Panicky Ashley wants weapon and alarm system on kthx. Tempted to wake Brian up to get him to turn the alarm on, but he has to be at work in about four hours.

Seriously. It'll be light in about three hours. If I go to sleep now, I'll have nightmares. I don't think I will be able to get to sleep, though. Not with the phobia triggers bouncing all around inside my head.

I'd feel better if there wasn't a great bloody bay window on the ground floor right behind me, but I'd feel worse if I were all the way upstairs trying to fall asleep.

I've always had problems with home invasion. The idea that I'm not safe anywhere, that even my own territory isn't really mine because anyone can invade it and violate that space at any time... it's something I've always had a problem with. It got worse after the thing with that guy living in my parents' garage. I actually ended up talking about it tonight with a friend.

( BACKGROUND GO )

Now you know about my crazy home invasion phobia, and why I've had trouble getting rid of it.

Late Night Activity and Vagrant Recaps

It's quite late. Past three in the morning it is. There's either an animal or person outside my house, so in lieu of going to bed, I'm sitting on my couch with a wakizashi.

First it fucked with the trash can, and I heard it half an hour ago and again as I typed this sentence. Then it was in front of the bay window around the garden, and I thought I heard animal tags or something. Then I swear I heard the mailbox on our house.

The cat was staring fixedly out the window for about half an hour. She just now left it. She's not a sit-still-and-stare cat unless she sees something.

This isn't helping my home invasion phobia, let me tell you what. Especially since our land line is in the process of being reconnected. This makes for a panicky Ashley. Panicky Ashley wants weapon and alarm system on kthx. Tempted to wake Brian up to get him to turn the alarm on, but he has to be at work in about four hours.

Seriously. It'll be light in about three hours. If I go to sleep now, I'll have nightmares. I don't think I will be able to get to sleep, though. Not with the phobia triggers bouncing all around inside my head.

I'd feel better if there wasn't a great bloody bay window on the ground floor right behind me, but I'd feel worse if I were all the way upstairs trying to fall asleep.

I've always had problems with home invasion. The idea that I'm not safe anywhere, that even my own territory isn't really mine because anyone can invade it and violate that space at any time... it's something I've always had a problem with. It got worse after the thing with that guy living in my parents' garage. I actually ended up talking about it tonight with a friend.

( BACKGROUND GO )

Now you know about my crazy home invasion phobia, and why I've had trouble getting rid of it.

Going to bed.

Okay. Feeling less jittery now. Considering sleep. The cat seems to have relaxed and is curling up in a chair. I've not heard anything in a bit, and it's getting kind of late. Four in the morning.

I need to live in a walled-off fortress. Or, I need a fortress around a great big damned wizard's tower that's been boobytrapped from the foundation up. There needs to be barbed wire. And retinal scanners and angry displacer beasts and possibly a well-armed Mandalorian.

That way I'll know that nothing can get me.

It'll at least be nice when our roommates are all here. I'll feel safer with more people in the house.

So yeah! Here's your great big secret of the day. Big mean old Ashley is actually terrified of a whole list of things, all of which seem to culminate in a big ugly nighttime anxiety that doesn't quite seem unreasonable enough to overcome.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go be terrified in bed with the only person who can generally calm me down when things like this start winding me up.

Going to bed.

Okay. Feeling less jittery now. Considering sleep. The cat seems to have relaxed and is curling up in a chair. I've not heard anything in a bit, and it's getting kind of late. Four in the morning.

I need to live in a walled-off fortress. Or, I need a fortress around a great big damned wizard's tower that's been boobytrapped from the foundation up. There needs to be barbed wire. And retinal scanners and angry displacer beasts and possibly a well-armed Mandalorian.

That way I'll know that nothing can get me.

It'll at least be nice when our roommates are all here. I'll feel safer with more people in the house.

So yeah! Here's your great big secret of the day. Big mean old Ashley is actually terrified of a whole list of things, all of which seem to culminate in a big ugly nighttime anxiety that doesn't quite seem unreasonable enough to overcome.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go be terrified in bed with the only person who can generally calm me down when things like this start winding me up.

Going to bed.

Okay. Feeling less jittery now. Considering sleep. The cat seems to have relaxed and is curling up in a chair. I've not heard anything in a bit, and it's getting kind of late. Four in the morning.

I need to live in a walled-off fortress. Or, I need a fortress around a great big damned wizard's tower that's been boobytrapped from the foundation up. There needs to be barbed wire. And retinal scanners and angry displacer beasts and possibly a well-armed Mandalorian.

That way I'll know that nothing can get me.

It'll at least be nice when our roommates are all here. I'll feel safer with more people in the house.

So yeah! Here's your great big secret of the day. Big mean old Ashley is actually terrified of a whole list of things, all of which seem to culminate in a big ugly nighttime anxiety that doesn't quite seem unreasonable enough to overcome.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go be terrified in bed with the only person who can generally calm me down when things like this start winding me up.

IF I SEE THIS ARGUMENT ONE MORE TIME

Is Islam bad?

Excuse me. I need to go slash my wrists until I'm too light-headed to remember everything I've been taught about culture and religion.

*returns later*

Well, that didn't work. Perhaps a rant.

( Read more... )

IF I SEE THIS ARGUMENT ONE MORE TIME

Is Islam bad?

Excuse me. I need to go slash my wrists until I'm too light-headed to remember everything I've been taught about culture and religion.

*returns later*

Well, that didn't work. Perhaps a rant.

( Read more... )

IF I SEE THIS ARGUMENT ONE MORE TIME

Is Islam bad?

Excuse me. I need to go slash my wrists until I'm too light-headed to remember everything I've been taught about culture and religion.

*returns later*

Well, that didn't work. Perhaps a rant.

( Read more... )