Awkward!

It's a tricky thing. Sometimes you say things that may have hurt somebody's feelings, but it isn't always easy to tell. If you know for sure whether it did or whether remarks were taken in the spirit they were uttered, you know what to do. But what if you don't?

Meh. I don't want to hurt this person's feelings. I actually think this woman is a phenomenal example of a human being, and I'm quite impressed by her. At the same time, I'm unsure whether I might have made her feel (judged, misunderstood, belittled?) bad with remarks that I made which didn't (and still don't) seem out of the normal tone of conversation that my friends and I have (including people who share her reasons for potentially being hurt).

So I have a choice. I can either drop her an email just to be safe to let her know that if she was bothered by the remarks I didn't mean to imply anything hurtful by them. This is the right choice if she was hurt, but if she wasn't, it'll seem like I think she's oversensitive about this particular issue. And that's not good either, because making her feel like people need to walk on eggshells around her isn't something I want to do.

The alternative is to say nothing. If she wasn't hurt, no harm's been done and I won't have done any by bringing it up. If she was... it rests on her to communicate any potential distress, and that requires some assurance on her part that I'll be mature about it and not be a heinous bitch. I don't think that's right either, to expect that of her.

I'm seldom left unsure in social situations, and still more rare is the situation in which I feel I might have done something... bad. I'm usually pretty adroit with these things, at least when it comes to serious gaffes. I'm not sure what to do. I don't know her well enough to know if she was offended, but I know her too well not to care.

Anyway. This kept me up last night, so I thought that signalled LJ-worthy relevance.

Awkward!

It's a tricky thing. Sometimes you say things that may have hurt somebody's feelings, but it isn't always easy to tell. If you know for sure whether it did or whether remarks were taken in the spirit they were uttered, you know what to do. But what if you don't?

Meh. I don't want to hurt this person's feelings. I actually think this woman is a phenomenal example of a human being, and I'm quite impressed by her. At the same time, I'm unsure whether I might have made her feel (judged, misunderstood, belittled?) bad with remarks that I made which didn't (and still don't) seem out of the normal tone of conversation that my friends and I have (including people who share her reasons for potentially being hurt).

So I have a choice. I can either drop her an email just to be safe to let her know that if she was bothered by the remarks I didn't mean to imply anything hurtful by them. This is the right choice if she was hurt, but if she wasn't, it'll seem like I think she's oversensitive about this particular issue. And that's not good either, because making her feel like people need to walk on eggshells around her isn't something I want to do.

The alternative is to say nothing. If she wasn't hurt, no harm's been done and I won't have done any by bringing it up. If she was... it rests on her to communicate any potential distress, and that requires some assurance on her part that I'll be mature about it and not be a heinous bitch. I don't think that's right either, to expect that of her.

I'm seldom left unsure in social situations, and still more rare is the situation in which I feel I might have done something... bad. I'm usually pretty adroit with these things, at least when it comes to serious gaffes. I'm not sure what to do. I don't know her well enough to know if she was offended, but I know her too well not to care.

Anyway. This kept me up last night, so I thought that signalled LJ-worthy relevance.

Awkward!

It's a tricky thing. Sometimes you say things that may have hurt somebody's feelings, but it isn't always easy to tell. If you know for sure whether it did or whether remarks were taken in the spirit they were uttered, you know what to do. But what if you don't?

Meh. I don't want to hurt this person's feelings. I actually think this woman is a phenomenal example of a human being, and I'm quite impressed by her. At the same time, I'm unsure whether I might have made her feel (judged, misunderstood, belittled?) bad with remarks that I made which didn't (and still don't) seem out of the normal tone of conversation that my friends and I have (including people who share her reasons for potentially being hurt).

So I have a choice. I can either drop her an email just to be safe to let her know that if she was bothered by the remarks I didn't mean to imply anything hurtful by them. This is the right choice if she was hurt, but if she wasn't, it'll seem like I think she's oversensitive about this particular issue. And that's not good either, because making her feel like people need to walk on eggshells around her isn't something I want to do.

The alternative is to say nothing. If she wasn't hurt, no harm's been done and I won't have done any by bringing it up. If she was... it rests on her to communicate any potential distress, and that requires some assurance on her part that I'll be mature about it and not be a heinous bitch. I don't think that's right either, to expect that of her.

I'm seldom left unsure in social situations, and still more rare is the situation in which I feel I might have done something... bad. I'm usually pretty adroit with these things, at least when it comes to serious gaffes. I'm not sure what to do. I don't know her well enough to know if she was offended, but I know her too well not to care.

Anyway. This kept me up last night, so I thought that signalled LJ-worthy relevance.