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Narrowing down my effective social circle for a while. The number of instances of people treating me like I am invulnerable because I won't collapse if they treat me like a mere human? It has reached a certain threshold. Beyond this threshold, I start removing these well-meaning fumbling moral infants so that their mistakes don't continue coming out of my hide.
Don't break commitments to me without doing me the basic courtesy of letting me know when those commitments are becoming burdensome to you BEFOREHAND. Don't use the fact that I keep my commitments against me. Don't use the fact that I have standards for my behavior to sacrifice me for the personal growth of your pieces of shit for friends and family. I am not your meatshield and I am not their scratching post.
I'm hesitant to assert my humanity because I don't identify particularly well with it, but please at least try to recall that I am a fellow sapient organism and have enough respect for yourself to apply the same standards of care and consideration to me that you apply to the delicate flailing baby glass flowers you call friends and family. It's been years since I treated myself as obligated to endure shitty treatment just because I can, so you can catch up to that or you can get the fuck out forever and lock yourself in a tiny box until you have learned how to be a member of a socially-oriented species.
Don't break commitments to me without doing me the basic courtesy of letting me know when those commitments are becoming burdensome to you BEFOREHAND. Don't use the fact that I keep my commitments against me. Don't use the fact that I have standards for my behavior to sacrifice me for the personal growth of your pieces of shit for friends and family. I am not your meatshield and I am not their scratching post.
I'm hesitant to assert my humanity because I don't identify particularly well with it, but please at least try to recall that I am a fellow sapient organism and have enough respect for yourself to apply the same standards of care and consideration to me that you apply to the delicate flailing baby glass flowers you call friends and family. It's been years since I treated myself as obligated to endure shitty treatment just because I can, so you can catch up to that or you can get the fuck out forever and lock yourself in a tiny box until you have learned how to be a member of a socially-oriented species.
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Date: 2014-11-19 07:22 pm (UTC)From:Not sure what brought on this particular notice, but I'm sorry it happened to you. As always, you deserve better than what people in general seem to be dishing out these days.
In particular, you deserve the same decent and deferential treatment from your friends that friends always conspicuously offer to people frailer than you.
You aren't crazy and you aren't an unreasonable bitch. Your high standards really aren't that high, even if few people seem capable of meeting them. That's on them, not on you. In fact, when you describe your needs, it really does seem like the bare minimum that humans have the right to expect from those who claim to care about them.
I don't know why it's so difficult to meet your standards. Best I can come up with is thoughtlessness. Forgetting manners during critical moments. I may be better than most, but I still suck at it too, sometimes. You make me aware of that, and the easy choice of defensiveness and passive-aggression is always there like a trap. The choice to instead be up to the challenge of working harder on myself...it takes awareness.
Thank you for knowing we can do better than that, and for saying so.