Writer's Block: Forgive and forget?

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I forgive people when they can no longer hurt me, either because it's no longer in their nature or because they have been forcibly removed from my life. Then I'm cool with them, either way.

However, I never forget. I've said it before and I'll say it again. People who pressure you to "forgive and forget" are just hoping for another opportunity to hurt you, or at the very least they don't value your right to prevent it. Anybody who really respects your right to protect yourself will never ask you to pretend an injury didn't happen (such as how you've been hurt in the past and by whom) for the benefit of their feelings. In that situation what they're really asking you to do is to make yourself more likely to be hurt similarly in the future so that they don't have to hurt now.

And... uh... no.

Writer's Block: Forgive and forget?

[Error: unknown template qotd]
I forgive people when they can no longer hurt me, either because it's no longer in their nature or because they have been forcibly removed from my life. Then I'm cool with them, either way.

However, I never forget. I've said it before and I'll say it again. People who pressure you to "forgive and forget" are just hoping for another opportunity to hurt you, or at the very least they don't value your right to prevent it. Anybody who really respects your right to protect yourself will never ask you to pretend an injury didn't happen (such as how you've been hurt in the past and by whom) for the benefit of their feelings. In that situation what they're really asking you to do is to make yourself more likely to be hurt similarly in the future so that they don't have to hurt now.

And... uh... no.

Writer's Block: Forgive and forget?

[Error: unknown template qotd]
I forgive people when they can no longer hurt me, either because it's no longer in their nature or because they have been forcibly removed from my life. Then I'm cool with them, either way.

However, I never forget. I've said it before and I'll say it again. People who pressure you to "forgive and forget" are just hoping for another opportunity to hurt you, or at the very least they don't value your right to prevent it. Anybody who really respects your right to protect yourself will never ask you to pretend an injury didn't happen (such as how you've been hurt in the past and by whom) for the benefit of their feelings. In that situation what they're really asking you to do is to make yourself more likely to be hurt similarly in the future so that they don't have to hurt now.

And... uh... no.

Writer's Block: Yes, offense taken

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I say something; it's just what I do. If I'm not speaking truth, I don't know what I'm for. It's lost me friends, but... if I lose a friend because they make a racist or homophobic remark and give me shit for calling a spade a spade... then hell. It was a friendship worth losing.

I don't like friendships where I can't be honest with someone who is hurting people (and let's face facts: racism and homophobia hurt people) for fear of hurting their feelings. Hell, I don't like friendships where I can't be honest period, but the worst kind of self-censoring is the kind that results in me letting others (or myself) get hurt because I don't have enough fucking sack to stand up for what I know is right.

Because really. How much am I really risking by saying, "Actually, saying things are 'gay' to describe them as bad is a terrible thing and I wish you wouldn't do it," or by saying, "Actually, there is no non-racist way to include someone's race as an integral part of an insult," or something similar? Am I going to be stoned? Burned? Starved? Fired? No! How much of a fucking coward would I have to be to let that shit go on when there are no serious consequences? (Some people have greater consequences hanging over them, and their situations are obviously their own to weigh. But I can't excuse it for myself.)

And no, conflict in itself is not scary enough for me to allow myself or others to be hurt for the sake of avoiding an uncomfortable conversation or two. I hate that shit. Grargh. Call me bitchy and confrontational all you like, but someday it'll be you or people you love being slurred, and I'll be the one fucking person who has your back. Let's hear you complain then.

This Writer's Block has me all annoyed now.

Writer's Block: Yes, offense taken

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I say something; it's just what I do. If I'm not speaking truth, I don't know what I'm for. It's lost me friends, but... if I lose a friend because they make a racist or homophobic remark and give me shit for calling a spade a spade... then hell. It was a friendship worth losing.

I don't like friendships where I can't be honest with someone who is hurting people (and let's face facts: racism and homophobia hurt people) for fear of hurting their feelings. Hell, I don't like friendships where I can't be honest period, but the worst kind of self-censoring is the kind that results in me letting others (or myself) get hurt because I don't have enough fucking sack to stand up for what I know is right.

Because really. How much am I really risking by saying, "Actually, saying things are 'gay' to describe them as bad is a terrible thing and I wish you wouldn't do it," or by saying, "Actually, there is no non-racist way to include someone's race as an integral part of an insult," or something similar? Am I going to be stoned? Burned? Starved? Fired? No! How much of a fucking coward would I have to be to let that shit go on when there are no serious consequences? (Some people have greater consequences hanging over them, and their situations are obviously their own to weigh. But I can't excuse it for myself.)

And no, conflict in itself is not scary enough for me to allow myself or others to be hurt for the sake of avoiding an uncomfortable conversation or two. I hate that shit. Grargh. Call me bitchy and confrontational all you like, but someday it'll be you or people you love being slurred, and I'll be the one fucking person who has your back. Let's hear you complain then.

This Writer's Block has me all annoyed now.

Writer's Block: Yes, offense taken

[Error: unknown template qotd]
I say something; it's just what I do. If I'm not speaking truth, I don't know what I'm for. It's lost me friends, but... if I lose a friend because they make a racist or homophobic remark and give me shit for calling a spade a spade... then hell. It was a friendship worth losing.

I don't like friendships where I can't be honest with someone who is hurting people (and let's face facts: racism and homophobia hurt people) for fear of hurting their feelings. Hell, I don't like friendships where I can't be honest period, but the worst kind of self-censoring is the kind that results in me letting others (or myself) get hurt because I don't have enough fucking sack to stand up for what I know is right.

Because really. How much am I really risking by saying, "Actually, saying things are 'gay' to describe them as bad is a terrible thing and I wish you wouldn't do it," or by saying, "Actually, there is no non-racist way to include someone's race as an integral part of an insult," or something similar? Am I going to be stoned? Burned? Starved? Fired? No! How much of a fucking coward would I have to be to let that shit go on when there are no serious consequences? (Some people have greater consequences hanging over them, and their situations are obviously their own to weigh. But I can't excuse it for myself.)

And no, conflict in itself is not scary enough for me to allow myself or others to be hurt for the sake of avoiding an uncomfortable conversation or two. I hate that shit. Grargh. Call me bitchy and confrontational all you like, but someday it'll be you or people you love being slurred, and I'll be the one fucking person who has your back. Let's hear you complain then.

This Writer's Block has me all annoyed now.