Me.

veronica_rich

Mr. Photenhauer argues that semen is simply an acquired taste. "Some tend to dismiss semen as food and describe it as bitter or salty. This is similar to a person who tastes wine for the first time and says it tastes sour." Oh whatever, you big uppity cum snob. Last time I checked, women dismissed semen as a food source because it shot piping hot out of a penis and smelled like something you'd find on your shoe after a 7 hour aquarium tour. A topping for flan? It's supposed to evolve into an infant. Do you sprinkle babies on your lasagne?

Most recipes call for fresh semen, but some recipes such as the Creamy Cum Crepes require copious amounts of ejaculate to attain that finely nuanced jizz flavor we all appreciate from childhood. Since the taste quickly deteriorates, Mr. Photenhauer suggests freezing several days worth of semen in the refrigerator. WWHM concurs, but suggests you store them opposite the ice cubes. There's nothing worse than catching your grandmother sipping a Crown on the rocks only to proclaim "This tastes like my goddamn honeymoon." (...)

If you'd like to see the actual book and read some hilarious commentary, please visit here.

If you'd like to peruse the first 20 pages, including recipes and a lovely photograph of spermed oysters, please click here.

veronica_rich

Mr. Photenhauer argues that semen is simply an acquired taste. "Some tend to dismiss semen as food and describe it as bitter or salty. This is similar to a person who tastes wine for the first time and says it tastes sour." Oh whatever, you big uppity cum snob. Last time I checked, women dismissed semen as a food source because it shot piping hot out of a penis and smelled like something you'd find on your shoe after a 7 hour aquarium tour. A topping for flan? It's supposed to evolve into an infant. Do you sprinkle babies on your lasagne?

Most recipes call for fresh semen, but some recipes such as the Creamy Cum Crepes require copious amounts of ejaculate to attain that finely nuanced jizz flavor we all appreciate from childhood. Since the taste quickly deteriorates, Mr. Photenhauer suggests freezing several days worth of semen in the refrigerator. WWHM concurs, but suggests you store them opposite the ice cubes. There's nothing worse than catching your grandmother sipping a Crown on the rocks only to proclaim "This tastes like my goddamn honeymoon." (...)

If you'd like to see the actual book and read some hilarious commentary, please visit here.

If you'd like to peruse the first 20 pages, including recipes and a lovely photograph of spermed oysters, please click here.