Jan. 3rd, 2010

xenologer: (Default)
Holy shit.
xenologer: (Default)
Holy shit.
xenologer: (Default)
Holy shit.

Privacy.

Jan. 3rd, 2010 03:40 pm
xenologer: (wild)
I'm wondering if perhaps I don't need to be a little less LJ friends-filter-happy when it comes to things that are actually important to me. It's quite likely that a lot of people on my LJ friends list think I'm someone almost entirely different than I actually am.

Generally when it comes to my proximal interactions (coworkers, fellow Thalians, whatever), I'm actually pretty transparent. I'm always baffled when people misunderstand me, because I'm really utterly lacking in guile or secretiveness of any kind. I'm just as likely to tell you how much I get paid as I am to tell you how much my poop weighed earlier, or whether I've ever been attracted to a woman or what my favorite thing is about [livejournal.com profile] archmage_brian or why I don't want to have children or why I don't dye my hair. What's not to get?

The internet is often different. I have more privacy here, but it's not fair to use that privacy and then get upset when people don't know me as well as people who interact with me daily. I don't know why I'm so much more careful here. Is it just because it leaves a record? Or is this me living out some kind of bizarre fantasy in which I'm a great big damn mystery to everybody?

Bah. I dunno. But I do think that perhaps I'm too paranoid about sharing certain things. I just don't want people to think of me and think of my mother, or think of me and think of my odd sexual hangups, or think of me and think of my father, or think of me and think of my weird fears surrounding dependence and independence. I don't know what I want people to think of when they think of me, but I guess the array of public versus friend-locked versus "holy fuck what the hell only six people can read that" locked entries is a clue.

I'm always kicking up a fit about something. I'm always laughing at some silly thing. I love my partner. Someone else's misfortune is always pissing me off. What else is there, really? I guess the hidden stuff... that's just context, detail that you may not really need to know about after all.

Privacy.

Jan. 3rd, 2010 03:40 pm
xenologer: (wild)
I'm wondering if perhaps I don't need to be a little less LJ friends-filter-happy when it comes to things that are actually important to me. It's quite likely that a lot of people on my LJ friends list think I'm someone almost entirely different than I actually am.

Generally when it comes to my proximal interactions (coworkers, fellow Thalians, whatever), I'm actually pretty transparent. I'm always baffled when people misunderstand me, because I'm really utterly lacking in guile or secretiveness of any kind. I'm just as likely to tell you how much I get paid as I am to tell you how much my poop weighed earlier, or whether I've ever been attracted to a woman or what my favorite thing is about [livejournal.com profile] archmage_brian or why I don't want to have children or why I don't dye my hair. What's not to get?

The internet is often different. I have more privacy here, but it's not fair to use that privacy and then get upset when people don't know me as well as people who interact with me daily. I don't know why I'm so much more careful here. Is it just because it leaves a record? Or is this me living out some kind of bizarre fantasy in which I'm a great big damn mystery to everybody?

Bah. I dunno. But I do think that perhaps I'm too paranoid about sharing certain things. I just don't want people to think of me and think of my mother, or think of me and think of my odd sexual hangups, or think of me and think of my father, or think of me and think of my weird fears surrounding dependence and independence. I don't know what I want people to think of when they think of me, but I guess the array of public versus friend-locked versus "holy fuck what the hell only six people can read that" locked entries is a clue.

I'm always kicking up a fit about something. I'm always laughing at some silly thing. I love my partner. Someone else's misfortune is always pissing me off. What else is there, really? I guess the hidden stuff... that's just context, detail that you may not really need to know about after all.

Privacy.

Jan. 3rd, 2010 03:40 pm
xenologer: (wild)
I'm wondering if perhaps I don't need to be a little less LJ friends-filter-happy when it comes to things that are actually important to me. It's quite likely that a lot of people on my LJ friends list think I'm someone almost entirely different than I actually am.

Generally when it comes to my proximal interactions (coworkers, fellow Thalians, whatever), I'm actually pretty transparent. I'm always baffled when people misunderstand me, because I'm really utterly lacking in guile or secretiveness of any kind. I'm just as likely to tell you how much I get paid as I am to tell you how much my poop weighed earlier, or whether I've ever been attracted to a woman or what my favorite thing is about [livejournal.com profile] archmage_brian or why I don't want to have children or why I don't dye my hair. What's not to get?

The internet is often different. I have more privacy here, but it's not fair to use that privacy and then get upset when people don't know me as well as people who interact with me daily. I don't know why I'm so much more careful here. Is it just because it leaves a record? Or is this me living out some kind of bizarre fantasy in which I'm a great big damn mystery to everybody?

Bah. I dunno. But I do think that perhaps I'm too paranoid about sharing certain things. I just don't want people to think of me and think of my mother, or think of me and think of my odd sexual hangups, or think of me and think of my father, or think of me and think of my weird fears surrounding dependence and independence. I don't know what I want people to think of when they think of me, but I guess the array of public versus friend-locked versus "holy fuck what the hell only six people can read that" locked entries is a clue.

I'm always kicking up a fit about something. I'm always laughing at some silly thing. I love my partner. Someone else's misfortune is always pissing me off. What else is there, really? I guess the hidden stuff... that's just context, detail that you may not really need to know about after all.
xenologer: (Default)
What the hell is wrong with me?

I'm still reeling so hard over the last Dr. Who episode that I can't, like, read things. I can write, which is good, but I pick up a book and look at it and think, "...eh."

I have a hard time pinning down what about it did that. Maybe everything Wilf did through all the last couple episodes. I won't get spoilery, but everything Wilf did makes me smile and die a little inside simultaneously, and I love him to pieces.

Anyway. I will not be spoilery!

Except here where maybe I kind of do. )
xenologer: (Default)
What the hell is wrong with me?

I'm still reeling so hard over the last Dr. Who episode that I can't, like, read things. I can write, which is good, but I pick up a book and look at it and think, "...eh."

I have a hard time pinning down what about it did that. Maybe everything Wilf did through all the last couple episodes. I won't get spoilery, but everything Wilf did makes me smile and die a little inside simultaneously, and I love him to pieces.

Anyway. I will not be spoilery!

Except here where maybe I kind of do. )
xenologer: (Default)
What the hell is wrong with me?

I'm still reeling so hard over the last Dr. Who episode that I can't, like, read things. I can write, which is good, but I pick up a book and look at it and think, "...eh."

I have a hard time pinning down what about it did that. Maybe everything Wilf did through all the last couple episodes. I won't get spoilery, but everything Wilf did makes me smile and die a little inside simultaneously, and I love him to pieces.

Anyway. I will not be spoilery!

Except here where maybe I kind of do. )

Weird

Jan. 3rd, 2010 08:03 pm
xenologer: (Default)
One of my lymph-nodes (left one under my chin) is all huge and sore. I don't know if it's sore because it's sore, or because it's the size of an almond and getting squished by the tiny normal-sized space it's still forced into.

Guess I'm probably either getting sick, narrowly avoiding getting sick thanks to an epically-self-sacrificing lymphatic system, or just getting over getting sick. In short, I have learned nothing. I am quite confused about this and would like it to stop.

On the up-side, gnocchi in a sauce made from reduced chicken stock, heavy cream, and balsamic vinegar = good!

Weird

Jan. 3rd, 2010 08:03 pm
xenologer: (Default)
One of my lymph-nodes (left one under my chin) is all huge and sore. I don't know if it's sore because it's sore, or because it's the size of an almond and getting squished by the tiny normal-sized space it's still forced into.

Guess I'm probably either getting sick, narrowly avoiding getting sick thanks to an epically-self-sacrificing lymphatic system, or just getting over getting sick. In short, I have learned nothing. I am quite confused about this and would like it to stop.

On the up-side, gnocchi in a sauce made from reduced chicken stock, heavy cream, and balsamic vinegar = good!

Weird

Jan. 3rd, 2010 08:03 pm
xenologer: (Default)
One of my lymph-nodes (left one under my chin) is all huge and sore. I don't know if it's sore because it's sore, or because it's the size of an almond and getting squished by the tiny normal-sized space it's still forced into.

Guess I'm probably either getting sick, narrowly avoiding getting sick thanks to an epically-self-sacrificing lymphatic system, or just getting over getting sick. In short, I have learned nothing. I am quite confused about this and would like it to stop.

On the up-side, gnocchi in a sauce made from reduced chicken stock, heavy cream, and balsamic vinegar = good!

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