Why I Immediately Disown Anti-Choicers but Not Pro-Lifers

[xenologer]

There's no reason to have arguments about whether abortion is okay and when and how and all that jazz if at the end of the day we're all willing to agree to disagree and let everybody control their own bodies and consent or deny consent to medical procedures based on their own consciences.

As long as we can respect each other's consciences, at the end of the day we're all on the same side. I don't have a problem with anybody else's personal view on abortion as long as they're willing to let me control my own medical decisions.

These conversations only get ugly when an anti-choicer walks in, because you can't have a respectful conversation as an equal with someone who doesn't think you're morally mature enough to control your own medical choices. If someone doesn't believe that I'm qualified to make my own medical choices, then whatever they say, they don't respect me, and why should I expect that someone who thinks so little of my ability to reason is actually paying attention to my reasoning when I present it?

But as long as we're all willing to say, "Your choice wouldn't be my choice and that's okay because I will fight for your right to be the one with the final say," then we're all friends. That's important to remember. There is an "agree to disagree" position. There is an "I respect your opinion and your values" position. It's called being pro-choice.

Comments

[silveradept]

I always think that people who want to call themselves pro-life need a lesson from the Inigo Montoya School of Grammar, because they usually seem very uninterested in the lives that are already here in the world, and unnaturally occupied with those that are not yet here.

[a-tergo-lupi.livejournal.com]

I am always supremely irritated by the "prolife personally and prochoice legally" group. They're so consumed by ideology that they can't just say "I'm prochoice." Prochoice isn't a "I will abort ALL THE BABIES!" position. It's a political position. And people who can't just let it be that and have to insert their judgey make me stabby.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

Point taken - but I don't mind them as much. They can judge me as much as they like, since there are very few people I give a rat's ass what their opinion is of me; I just don't want them interfering with my choices or anyone else's. (And, sometimes these people maybe really aren't judging, they're just saying what they would do. It's like gay rights supporters who feel the need to throw in they're straight - probably some are being snide, but others probably just want to demonstrate they're capable of understanding something they don't themselves do?)

[a-tergo-lupi.livejournal.com]

The problem is that waffling encourages people who are anti-choice. They feel like they have a majority because of all the equivocating.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

No, because I want the choice for access to exist because it's the legally fair thing to do to allow a woman to make her own reproductive choices, just like any man can do. I don't want the people who wouldn't choose to do it - but support other women's rights to do so - to be hushed up, because later, it'll just come back to bite future generations in the ass when people start questioning "why did they ever allow this? Abortion is HORRIBLE!" Pretending every choice supporter is personally OK with abortion isn't reality and may just foment resentment on their end that could transmute to anti-choice sentiment someday. But that's just IMO. Besides, if someone is willing to say "... but I support legal choice," I don't care what comes before it, I consider that a check in my column. :-)

[ariseishirou.livejournal.com]

Eh, as someone who came from a social background where I could have lost all of my friends and had my family disown me for siding with the "baby-killers", I understand why they would hedge. In some social groups, the only acceptable way to say that you're pro-choice (even though that's what you're actually saying - you're pro-choice but you'd exercise that choice to carry the fetus to term if it ever came up, or at least you think you would) is to weasel around it with a "well, of course I think abortion is wrong! It's terrible! But do I really have the right to change the laws to suit what I think...? What about rape, incest, backalley abortions, lesser of two evils, etc. etc.".

Now that I'm out of that situation I can unapologetically say "pro-choice", but the social repercussions for doing so can be severe, so I don't judge someone who won't just come out and say it.